New From Pearle: Pocket Mirrors!

I am having a lot of fun painting these lovely little compacts.
Adding a bit of Pearle to a NEW item...I hope you all dig.

Available through my Etsy shop: PEARLE'S PRETTY PIECES

♡ A Piece of Me to You! ♡

Going to the Salon today!

Update: Trip to the salon has been postponed to March 3rd. Due to pretty nasty weather!!! I can't very well get a new-do when it is pouring outsdoors! So...Today I have a hair appointment! This is huge because I have a FEAR of allowing anybody near my head w/ any cutting instrument! Two year ago I allowed a "hairdresser" to cut my hair. She had a chair/station set up in her home. She  trimmed my hair before and seemed to have done a good job....and then my second visit to her...she thinned my hair so much I was practically BALD(like as if I had chemo)! The thing is once she destroyed my hair I couldn't even look in the mirror at myself w/out bursting into tears. Because I didn't look in the mirror I stopped wearing make-up....and then as a domino affect I gained a lot of weight because I felt so ugly anyway. Amazing what getting a horrific haircut can do to somebody!
Anyway...my hair has finally grown back! My friend Jane and my daughter secretly emailed each other and planned a day to a salon in Boston for me. I have never paid a lot of attention to my hair...so this should be pretty awesome!
I have no idea what to do....
I am going to  Amaci Salon, Boston.
So I leave today w/ a very dull mop on my head....Can't wait to see what they do to me.
Pearle♥

Flowers By: Pearle & Reagan

Sometimes Rea and I just buy some old cheap paintings at a garage sales and just paint over it. This is one of my favorites that we did together. It hangs in our living room...It is bright and wonderful!

Face By: Pearle

Brother & Sister By: Pearle

Brother & Sister

What I am Grateful for...

Sometimes when I get down....I need to think of what I am grateful for....

Sometimes...Life just hits me SMACK between my eyes and it is terribly hard to see the end of a long road of hard knocks and scrapes and bruises...

Fighting everyday just to keep my head in the game.

This evening....I just stopped holding my breath.

Truth is I am doing this gig...

I am going to try harder.

Chin up Soldier!

Pearle♥

A Reminder of my obsession! Patterns.....

Dresser Drawers

One leaf at a time w/ my itty bitty brush

One leaf, one dot, one line at a time....

Base to a Blanket/quilt stand

Seat to a Windsor Chair

Base to a Floor Lamp

Dresser Drawer

The seat of a Vanity Bench

Man....each piece took so long to complete. The process is so calming...I feel the need to lose myself into a private piece. I think I will start tomorrow...theraputic! 

God is in the details!

I was once a Little Girl...(sigh)

It is amazing how far removed I feel from that little girl...
The winter has become long. The skeletal remains are beginning to sway in a twisted taunting manner.

I think the days get harder when I realize how alone I am. The walls of winters prison are shrinking around me.
I can't breathe!
I am struggling today with my "faith" and I am not entirely sure why other than I am in my head a lot. Swirling thoughts emerge causing self doubt and at times complete self loathing!
Being estranged from my family...the years are wearing on me.
The world is a HUGE place when you are all alone just wondering...
I am sad today but I know tomorrow is a new day and I will get through this emotional moment and be fine...
I always do...
I just need to get over this hump....Get through another weak moment. When I give into my sorrow I just raise my arms and scream to my GOD.....MERCY!!!
Silence is not my style although....when things start to hurt inside I tend to become silent! Shh.
Listening to Eminem....I really enjoy listening to him when I get into a funk.
I like to sing along with him. I get to swear....It's like getting to punch a punching bag aggressively and just letting out all my ANGER!
Man, I said it: ANGER! Crazy! I thought I was just sad....but NO....I am really Angry as well!
Wow! I need to process this because I think I will be much more productive if I just accept it!

From  The song

Eminem....Beautiful...

And I know some sh*t so hard to swallow
But I just can’t sit back and wallow
In my own sorrow, but I know one fact
I’ll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to follow
I’ll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you’d have to walk a thousand miles

(Chorus)
In my shoes just to see
What it’s like to be me
I’ll be you, lets trade shoes
Just to see what it be like to
Feel your pain, you’ll feel mine
We’ll go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Look at sh*t through each others eyes

Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get f*cked, just stay true to you
Don’t let them say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get f*cked, just stay true to you

I really love these verses. I didn't put the whole song....I thought this part was enough. I really love it!
Maybe I will needlepoint it onto a pillow.....rest my head on these words!

Sometimes I just feel very alone...No family to turn to. Orphaned in this world w/ my little girl...sometimes it just gets emotionally overwhelming. I have spent a great deal of time praying to my God....He will respond in His time.
I am going to force myself to do something productive....
I'll put that violin back in it's case, pull up my boot straps and trudge forward.
Thank you for allowing my breakdown!

Front Page Treasury...LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER!

Love that Dirty Water

So...above is the link to my first Front Page Treasury.

It happened when I was sleeping..but still happened nonetheless!

Yea!

Pearle♥ 

♡ A Little Piece of Me to You! ♡

I misplaced the remote control and instead of looking for it I have decided to just watch what is on (Weiner). It is absolute absurdity. I am actually becoming more stupider by the minute....drool just escaped the left side of my mouth. (Gee whiz!)

I added some new little treasures to my Etsy shop. These wonderful Puzzle piece Ornaments are the idea of my child, Reagan. Each one is an actual wooden puzzle piece that we decorated w/ fancy paper and super sparkly glitter (Martha Stewart Brand).

 ♡   A LITTLE PIECE OF ME TO YOU
                 By: Reagan and Pearle

Rea and I really need to start creating some more...they are a lot of fun to make together.
These super cute Puzzle Pieces make excellent just because gifts...any time of the year. 

Please Pray For Stephen...

                                                                  ♡Stephen♡__________________________________________________________________________________

Reagan Created a card for Stephen, a seven year old boy who recently was diagnosed w/ the Big C! Stephen is a friends cousin. He was having a pretty bad headache and problems with his vision. His parents brought him to the doctor and after tests and things...well the result is really bad!

From this boys father:

Pathologist cell study confirmed the brain stem glioma and it’s a severe type and is very advanced (they will get confirmation from sloan kettering by Monday and we can also send to whoever we want). I believe in miracles and will not stop seeking the Lord for one until it happens either on earth or in heaven. We are hoping to bring him home on Monday and I will go talk with others for treatment options. But what the one neurologist told me is that no one (besides from a miracle) has survived from this. Tara and I will send an update out to all when we get to it.

Thanks for all you support and continued support!

Stephen

Please Pray fro Stephen and his family!  

http://www.stephenaustinmiracle.org/index.php 

UPDATE: From Stephens Family in regards to his condition.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR A MIRACLE♥

 Hello all, we are so sorry it has been such a long time since either Stephen or I have updated.  It has been such a difficult week.  We are still loving God as much as we did probably even more so than when this horrible situation with little Stephen began.  Our faith is just as strong regardless of the outcome.  We know God has us all in his hands.  I will begin with Monday and Wednesday for our personal meetings with doctors.

2/21/11  Monday was an extremely hard day for us as Big (this is what our family calls big stephen) and his dad went for another opinion to CHOP.  They were 100% positive that yes, Stephen for certain has diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma,high grade glioblastoma.  There is no cure for this horrible, evil and cruel form of cancer.  The word cancer in itself is so difficult for me to even say, that I choose to just say the tumor.  Our son has been diagnosed with the worst possible form of cancer a person could have.  2/23/11  Big asked me to go to NYU for another opinion and for me to hear it for myself since I have not been with him on all of the other meetings and phone consultations.  My mom and father-in-law went with me and I was even more heartbroken after meeting with him.  Apparently the mass that was floating and was taken out and the other mass that is still in Stephen floating around is not a good thing, as I thought maybe the cancer had only been there and not really in his brain stem. I was very wrong.  It means that the cancer has spread beyond all of the brain barriers and is on a mission to take over his poor body.  Seeing the doctor go through the MRI's from one week to the next was excruciating to say the least.  To see this thing grow so rapidly inside my sons head was beyond painful.  Knowing there is nothing we can do to get rid of it.  The tumor within his pons is growing so big and pushing out so far. Big has also spoke with St. Judes and other renowned hospitals that have given the same exact treatment options and trials. There is no human treatment with hope and no guarantee to prolong Stephen's life, which they have no time frame.  Could be a month, could be several months.  He would endure 6 weeks of daily radiation treatment.  Which would entail him being sedated daily and having a new port put in by his heart and multiple MRI's. There are side effects that as always come along with radiation like vomiting and pain.  There is also a good chance that after going through radiation it won't respond and he would go through more torture for nothing.  Stephen is not a child who could handle something like that and Big and I do not believe in suffering just to possibly prolong things to only have to get back to this point again.  He went from playing and running like every other boy 3 weeks ago to within a few short hours being bedridden. He can not walk, can barley talk and when he does, he doesn't understand why we can't understand him.  Every simple thing that you and I take for granted (like eating, drinking, holding things, writing, going to the bathroom, etc.) has become extremely difficult to him. His brain is thinking clearly, but his motor part is not working. He does not know that he isn't speaking correctly.  This whole process just makes me weep.  He is very shy and does not like any attention so something like us trying to figure out his words makes him feel so bad. 

Tuesday 2/22/11

After coming home last night and Stephen wanting to go back to the hospital because the realization that he is home and his sisters are running around and he is still not well and getting worse has hit.  His ears are very sensitive and high voices bother him.  I had a very hard time in knowing we were coming home too.  It meant that this is real and that my child does not have an infection.  Monday was another blow and another worst day of my life feeling.  I was really starting to panic at the hospital and go a little "crazy" to say the least.  This feeling of no control is a horrible one.  He is still very depressed, but on Tuesday we spoke to the Ugly Doll Factory President and they were so wonderful in letting Stephen come visit them. It is not open to the public and they were so generous to us.  Stephen was happy to have seen where the Ugly Dolls are stored and even more happy to leave with a bunch of his favorite things!  I am so thankful to them for allowing us to visit. They were more than accommodating and more than wonderful to us!  Thank-you Jesus for allowing this to happen!

Thursday 2/24/11

Thursday was a great day in that Stephen was baptized!!!!  Pastor Brennan came out and asked Stephen if he wanted to be baptized and he said yes!  We are so very proud of Stephen for wanting to profess his faith in Jesus!  Pastor Marsha came out as well and we are so thankful that we have Pastor's who care so much about our family.  Talking to Pastor Marsha basically daily has been very important to us!

Friday 2/24/11

Friday we had a follow-up visit with the Valerie Center in Morristown to make very important decisions.  Stephen was seen by the oncologist there and he has gone down hill significantly over the past few days.  His respiration has gotten very difficult.  After a very long and emotional few days we have decided against radiation.  We know that we are making the right decision.  There is no surgery, no pill, no radiation, no chemo drug that will cure this. He is not in the early stage of this horrific disease.  He is in the end stage and has spread rapidly.  Stephen has the worst case scenario.  The only cure is in God and God alone.  We are still asking God for our miracle.  We are still crying out to him daily and we know that He can do anything!  We have after looking into many alternative treatments like Germany and the Bruzinski clinic, decided to begin the alternative treatment called the Cellect-Budwig Protocal for Stage 4 Cancer. Big has also spoken directly with the person who wrote this protocol and is guiding us in this treatment.  We are enthusiastic about this!  God made the earth for us to enjoy and we believe in natural healing and are still looking into additional alternative treatments!  Let the process begin!!  Another highlight was Make-a-Wish coming so quickly to our home and planning our Disney trip early this next week coming up.  Stephen's dream is to get on an airplane.  He has always wanted to and now he will!  We are not sure of the exact dates as they are moving as quickly as possible.  We will let everyone know a/s/a/p.   The doctors have given Stephen some super steroids and some other meds to keep him as strong as possible for the trip. 

On another note, Stephen also talked us into two guinea pigs.  One for him and one for his sister Thea.  Before his surgery his doctor asked him if he wanted a pet and that mommy and daddy should get him one.  I explained that we have a dog, but she told Stephen he should ask for one anyway.  Well, the ride home from the hospital Friday he certainly remembered!  So now, we have welcomed Rex and Toad into our home.  Even though I am against rodents, I have to say that they are awfully cute.

2/26/11 Saturday was a good day.  The steroids have kicked in a little as Stephen's voice is slightly louder than it was.  He is also starting to be able to urinate on his own.  He was having a very difficult time.  He was so happy and we actually saw his left side mouth go up in a smile like form (he physically can not anymore) when his Aunt Tarra and Uncle Tyler brought him a beautiful Fish Tank and set it up perfectly in his room.  Aunt Tarra's vision was right on!  It was exactly what Stephen always wanted.  Lobster and all!  We are so thankful to everyone who has sent Stephen goodies, cards, presents, etc...  We could not get through this with out all of your help as the pain is unbearable. We are so blessed with all of your generosity and fundraisers that continue to come in!  We will continue to update you as much as possible!  Please, please, please do not stop your prayers to God!  We know He is listening to all our cries and we are still asking and believing for a complete healing! What a miracle this would be!

Also all our posts are getting put on a great website family and friends have setup for us. Please visit www.stephenaustinmiracle.org if you haven't already. Post may start to get put directly on there instead of emails, but someone will let everyone know if and when this happens.

Tara, Stephen and the Fantastic Four!

 

♡ Awe! Thank you! Thank You! ♡

Thanks to a wonderful donation I was able to get Reagan Ballet shoes, tights and a leotard. Thank you so much.

Raising this little girl the best I know how by myself....and my village! I just know that I can't do it all by myself. I live in a fantastic supportive town in Massachusetts.

Reagan goes to The Childrens Dance Theater which is run by an amazing woman/instructor Carol Sereda.

Click here: childrens dance theater Thanks to Carols love of dance and teaching...I have been able to keep Reagan's Dream of dance going.

I also want to mention Kids Connect which is an amazing program. Reagan is able to receive Free Tutoring services for Math through this program run by Deb Sayre: Click for Kids Connect

I really appreciate the help I get from my Village...I do!
I am a single struggling mother...it is my Village that makes it a bit easier! ♥

I am not raising a child....I am raising a future adult! 
Since we have been down the 2nd parent we are barely afloat. I am keeping this ship from sinking by working really hard trying to get My name out there and my work. My New Etsy shop is an obsession now. I hope I can keep it going...
I have accepted that if I am going to do this (everything life requires) I need to throw caution to the wind and dive in....Reagan and I work really hard creating because as I see it it is through our crations that we will stay afloat. Dreaming...can become a reality!
Sorry...I was overwhelmed w/ gratitude due to a lovely donation which made it so Reagan didn't have to wear her old dance clothes but actually got NEW ones which is such a treat!

(Stretch & Yawn) Feeling Pretty Good Today...♥

Last night I put my ipod in the thingy that allows it to play through the speakers. I sat down and got to work priming and painting the base color of many things...barrettes, headbands, clipboards, a box thingy that I found and some other things.

Butterfly55's Etsy Shop

I am waiting for the mailman, Mario, to deliver a few things to me today like the Learn How To Knit Kit that is coming from the UK. I am excited to knit w/ Rea. We'll see if we can knit what the kit claims we will be able to knit. I am a terrible rule follower...You may just end up seeing our creations turned in to warm fizzy things we will wear around our necks...so strangers will hug us! That is probably a really random thing especially if you don't know what a warm fuzzy pom pom thingy is.

I had some cards printed up and they will soon be available through my Etsy shop. I am quite excited about offering this new great item. I did some tester sets a few months back and well...they all sold. So, I am going to offer more. Check them out!

Refresh Yourself

Dream (Peace)

Thank you

Blank Note cards
(5.47" x 4.21")
Photo/Art work by Pearle
Set(6) $16.50 (shipping included)
Available soon.
I am working....and I am not entirly sure what will be created but I do know....It will be created.
Rea and I are doing what we do best!




I am exhausted...coffee and music...I need to get energized!
Well....Lets hope Mario gets here soon....I am so excited to see what is coming in the mail today!
♥

Just a piece of Road on a lifelong journey

Sometimes the road is hard to travel. The terrain gets steep and rocky and every once in a while my feet slip out from beneath me. My palms are sore and raw, my nails are cracked and bleeding as I grasp onto anything so that I don't lose too much ground.
I am making changes and I don't know about you but for me, suffering from the Human condition, change never comes easy. I want change but something inside me resists. It's like a battle within myself and sometimes, most times, there are no winners but inner peace sacrifices and compromises with rivers of tears mixed with all my struggles and woes.
I have been going down this one road for a while now. My child on my back. I don't want her feet touching too much of this terrain for I fear that it could wear heavy on her young innocent spirit. So, I carry her even if at times the weight is challenging and demanding. I don't mind because it is the burden I chose to bear. She is the love of my life and I adore her more than words could ever express.
I have been dreaming recently....dreaming of making this life less difficult and more joyous.
I am a single mother and I have been single for many years.

I decided a day or two ago to take a step off the road I was traveling on....take a right or a left...it didn't matter. I needed to make a decision to live this life as well as survive it.
In my art I lose myself....

In my art I escape into a world where everything is lovely.
I feel this need to rescue...and I find myself rescuing furniture and giving it a new sense of beauty!
I find myself rescuing many things and trying to make them more beautiful than they have ever been and show the world that everything, no matter how long it has been discarded, can return, can change and can be worth more than you can imagine!
My art to me is a symbol....a symbol of how the human condition can be redeemed and doesn't have to always be so tragic!
Life doesn't have to always be so black & White and fit into the boundaries of what "society" thinks they will accept. I step a little over the line from time to time...just to know for sure that nobody is really watching that line anyway!

Truth is I was discarded years ago...I have accepted this. I have survived every day because I believe that there is a HP that Loves me. He gave to me a gift or two. I want to share my gift with you!
If I were a piece of furniture I would be a chair. Because although I don't have much...I'd really like to give you a place to rest your body. A place to sit and chat. A place to sit when you gather w/ your family. A chair...everything about a chair screams Let me hold you when you can not do it yourself! Let the arms of my chair embrace you. Let The back of my chair support you.....My legs strong and steady will hold you up! If I were a piece of furniture...i'd be a chair for sure!
I get to share with you a bit of me, my struggle, my success, my joy, my love....MY HEART! By owning a bit of Pearle you own a bit of a dream...a bit of Hope...and you are helping guide me down the road I travel...a guiding light of sorts! ♥


Just a piece of Road on a lifelong journey

♥*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Pearle's Painting

I have been working really hard at trying to get things organized and together.
Pearle♥