So, I haven't exactly been creating master pieces but I have been creating little useful things such as hair clips and clip boards. Little nothingness that create a somethingness.
I am excited, my 17 year old son is coming up for 5 days next week from CT. I am looking forward to this visit. He is such a great kid.
I will be submitting two pieces to the Danforth Museum to hopefully be selected to be exhibited in one of their upcoming shows. I get nauseous and excited about this whole ordeal. I am so afraid of rejection. I force myself to do these things because I wont know if I don't try.
Click here for the Danforth Annual Exhibitions.
I called the woman who had me paint a High Chair and asked if I could borrow it. She said yes! I will submit that and the Butterfly Table....I think. Whao! My nerves feel twisted because I get told a lot that my furniture isn't "real" art. Honestly, it is little stings that cause the biggest damage. A lot of people also tell me it is but my fear of failure and rejection listens to the negative so much more than the positive. HOW DO I SHUT THAT OFF?
I am having an inner struggle going on....wish I weren't. I feel like a fraud. I wonder if other artists feel like a fraud sometimes....like am I am artist or am I pretending to be one? It is absurd....A lot of the artists I meet seem to together and confident....I am always doubting myself and my ability or so called talent. Amazing how contests can make me just want to crawl inside myself and hide. I can't be alone w/ these ridiculous insecurities. OI!
It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I started taking what I do seriously and it took even longer to consider myself an artist. I love to paint whatever I can get my hands on from things as small as a Scrabble® piece to as big as a dresser and hopefully even bigger someday. Whatever it is I will paint it. I love transforming trash into treasure literally. Imagine that a chair that came from a dumpster (2006) made it into a museum (2009). It blows me away to think that something I did creates a sense of awe in a viewer’s eye.
I was talking to a friend a few years back about my love for furniture, my relationship with chairs in particular. There was a chair that I found discarded and ultimately forgotten. I came upon this chair accidentally. I wasn't looking for a relationship. Anyway, the chair was a very handsome chair with so many things to look at. His back was decorative; his arms were long and lean. His legs...I have never seen such beautiful legs. But he was beaten down. His self-esteem had long been worn out. His seat, which was repeatedly upholstered over years, was torn and faded. His stuffing was busting out revealing his age and loss of pride. Me, being a care taker and rescuer of sorts....picked up the chair and brought it home. He sat at the top of the stairs for a few weeks in a corner. My friends however saw this chair and commented on how ugly he was. They wondered why I had him in my home commenting on how dirty he was and how unattractive he was due to the years of neglect. I ignored them and kept him around. Finally one day I decided to put him on my coffee table and take the layers of cloth and wool stuffing off of his seat. Then I cleaned him, primed him and painted him black. Three months later I sat back and looked at him and this is what I saw.....A chair, a man restored...but not only restored but given a whole new purpose. He was beautiful again. He was unique and wonderful....The same chair that my friends were grossed out by....is now a chair that they ask permission to touch. Amazing.....One thing is for certain...NOTHING STAYS THE SAME! Change is inevitable and what is ugly or dirty or discarded as trash can be saved, can be rescued and can be made shinier than new!
Taking discarded forgotten pieces and giving them their self-esteem back is a passion for me. Living in a world where we discard things so easily I’d like to think I am making an itty bitty difference.